I'm Right Here

I don't know what 2018 was like for you. Maybe it was a good year. Maybe it wasn't. 

For me, 2018 was a sobering year.

It started in May when I was driving in a city that I was not very familiar with. As I was driving toward a specific destination, I realized I missed a turn. I turned around in a parking lot, and started going back. The sun was shining in my eyes, and I failed to see the traffic light just up ahead. I saw a car on my right hand side and thought they were at a stop sign. As I kept going, my sister in the backseat yelled, "Red li-!" A car slammed into the rear passenger door of my car, glass shattered, and my sisters screamed. As I got out of the car, I opened the rear door for my sister to climb through. She was crying. The whole side of the door, the side that she had been sitting on, had been completely destroyed. But here she was, alive. My hands started shaking, and I started crying. This was the first time I ever had to call 911. 

That night, my sisters and I were saved. The elderly couple in the other car were saved. But I couldn't work for a week. I was physically and emotionally distraught. I kept thinking, what if? What if we all hadn't been saved? I didn't drive for a full month. I was afraid. I was afraid to get back behind the steering wheel. 

Just recently, I was listening to Jamie Grace's 91 album. I was listening to her song "Here" featuring her sister, Morgan Harper. It goes:

I was sinkin', I was swimmin',

I was wonderin' if You were here

I saw all the lights were flashing, 

Must be an emergency, dear

I don't even know if You hear me,

I don't even know where you've gone

Sometimes when I close my eyes and wonder,

I can't help but feel that I'm alone

I was callin' out to You, and You said,

"I'm right here, I'm right here

Oh don't you know I'm here?"

No matter when I call, He tells me,

"I'm right here, I'm right here

Oh don't you know I'm here?"

No matter when I call, You tell me,

"I'm right here." 

As I was listening to this song, it dawned on me that my sisters and I had been playing this album in the car when I drove through the red light. This song really hit home. 

I remembered feeling the night of the crash that people that I didn't even know were praying for me. My brother said that he turned on the radio right after he received the news that we had gotten into a crash. A lady on air was praying for anyone who had just been in a crash in this particular city we had been in. 

It's amazing how God can use other people to show that He's right there with us. He was right there when I couldn't see the traffic light. He was right there when the car crashed into the door that my sister was sitting near. He was right there when I dialed 911 for the first time. He was right there when the paramedics were checking on us. He was right there when I was dealing with whiplash from the accident. He was right there the first time I got behind the wheel again. 

He was always there. And He's still here. 

We live in a fallen world. People make mistakes. Tragedy happens. Knowing that doesn't make traumatic events like this one any easier to bare. I am very fortunate and thankful that God protected us. But sometimes worse things happen. 

Within just a few months of my accident, 17 people drowned while on a duck boat on Table Rock Lake during a storm. I pass by this place everyday when I drive to work. It was hard seeing all of the flowers and memorabilia people placed on the sidewalk for the 17 victims. A couple days later, when I was working, a few ladies came in to eat. When they came up to the register, I asked them if they were from the area. They told me no, and unfortunately, they were not here on vacation. They were family to the driver of the duck boat. They were here for his funeral. I was heartbroken. All I could do was say, "I'm sorry." I prayed for them on my way home that day. 

I don't know what you have gone through this past year. Maybe you or someone you know has gone through some not-so-good things. But I do know that if you call on God, He will show you that He's right there with you, no matter what it is. He will be there for you this next year, and the following years to come.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

"In the day of my trouble I call on You, for You will answer me." - Psalm 86:7

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff - they comfort me." -Psalm 23:4

"Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

"...And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." -Matthew 28:20